Part 1: Love - the basic ingredient for growing up happily

The title seems cheesy. And you might think, "Of course I love my child!" – and that's probably true. But do you love your child the way it needs to be loved? You probably realize I'm getting at something specific. The question isn't whether you love your child, but whether you love it for its own sake.

You may also be convinced that your child is experiencing this or has experienced it. But the fact is, few children are lucky enough to be loved this way!

I would like to ask you a few questions that you can answer for yourself:

-) How do you react when your child gets a bad grade at school?

-) How do you react when your child has a tantrum?

-) Or more generally speaking: How do you react when your child does not act according to your expectations, wishes and ideas?

Are they angry? Disappointed? Are they grounded or banned from eating sweets?

You might be thinking, "Should I be happy about a grade of 5 in my German dictation? Or should I cheer when my child throws himself on the floor crying in front of the supermarket checkout because he doesn't get a lollipop?" - No, of course not! Every parent knows such challenging situations. They're not uncommon; they sometimes occur several times a day. I don't want to give you a guideline for how to react to every conceivable situation. Unfortunately, I don't have one myself! I, too, am sometimes hopelessly overwhelmed by certain situations, haha.

But I'd like to bring you back to the valuable idea behind this blog post: Your child needs to feel that they are right just the way they are and that they are loved unconditionally for who they are.

This is a difficult task, but there's a very simple indicator! Children shouldn't feel like they have to work hard to be loved! Read this sentence again and think about it!

Would you love your child more if they had better grades in school or were an emotionless robot who made no mistakes and had no needs? Probably not! Many children think so, though, and in the long run, they try to pretend and make an effort to become more like their parents want them to be... and all just to be loved more! This is a primal instinct, so to speak, because love and affection promise them protection and security.

But what is the consequence? The children lose their ease and grow up to feel controlled by others their entire lives. They are completely dependent on the judgment of others. They are constantly tense and can never live a happy life according to their own ideas because they fear they won't receive the affection they crave. And all this because they have never experienced that they are good enough and right just the way they are!

With your reactions and actions as parents, you can set the course... toward a happy childhood full of love and acceptance... and subsequently, a happy adulthood! It's a small adjustment with enormous impact. Please tell your child this, and above all, show it to your child... every day!

And my personal tip: If you've said something to your child emotionally that you later regret, tell them too! Apologize! No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes! Your child will feel even more accepted and respected, and subsequently, valued and loved.

With this in mind: All the best, your Martina from LIONHERZ <3